I Have What???

I have not blogged in a while because I have not been feeling like myself. I have had all these weird and unrelated ailments that have come and gone over the last few weeks. To be honest, they were freaking me out. CAUTION: Do not go on the internet and type in your symptoms! You will always find the absolute worst! :) My husband has banned me from doing this! The weirdest one of all is that I have been losing weight for no reason. I mean, I had been wanting to lose weight, but when you are not working out and you are actually eating more, it doesn't make sense. A couple of weeks ago, I had to leave my classroom because my heart was pounding out of my chest. It was pounding so hard it felt like I could hear it. I have also not been sleeping well. Anyone who knows me knows that I have zero trouble sleeping. I have literally been laying in bed wide awake. My friend and co-worker, Brittany, finally took me to the urgent care because my heart rate was back up, and to be honest, I was not acting like myself. I love my co-workers, and they knew something was wrong because I was being super quiet...I love to talk and have fun at work! The doctor did an EKG, and he said my heart was fine, but it was beating super fast for resting. He also did a bloodtest. They called me the next day to tell me I had a hyperthyroid. I saw an endocrinologist on Friday and was diagnosed with Graves' Disease. It is named Graves after the man who discovered it, not because it sends you to your grave!!! :) We discussed a plan. I am going to do take an anti-thyroid drug for 3 months and see what happens. I go back in November for a follow-up and to discuss a new plan, if necessary. He believes it is unlikely my hyperthyroid will go into remission because I am so young, and my levels were so high. Who knew being young could actually work against you? The fact that I am not a smoker is actually one of the two things that works in my favor. Haha! Stephen was with me during my doctor's visit, and I was glad because so much information was being thrown at me. He caught everything I missed or was confused about.

I never realized your thyroid being out of sorts could affect so much of your health. I won't go into all the crazy symptoms I have had because there are just too many to name. I have also been experiencing severe anxiety. That is just not me! The reality is that this has affected me in more ways than just my health. Having a hyperthyroid causes infertility. I have always wanted to be a young mom. I really thought, Stephen and I will be married for two years and then try to have a baby. It has not happened since last year, and apparently, it is not in the Lord's timing for this to happen right now. As a girl who has always wanted to be a mom, I struggled with hearing the words, "It is not likely you are going to get pregnant right now, and if you do, you are looking at a highly likely miscarriage." Well my plans are changing! For those of you that don't know, Stephen and I had a miscarriage this time last year. It was not a planned pregnancy, but we were excited about it and very disappointed when it did not last. The doctor told me it is likely I have had Graves' Disease for a while and that probably caused the miscarriage, or the miscarriage spurred on the Graves'. I am so blessed to be married to such a Godly, supportive husband. He kept telling me that we would have a baby when God was ready for us to have a baby. My mom keeps reminding me that I am in fact young. Even though that doesn't work in my favor with the hyperthryoid, I do still have plenty of time to become a mom, and I need to be healthy first. I think, as a woman, when you get you mind set on something happening, you get your hopes up when it doesn't or can't happen.

We are trusting in the Lord! This is not life-threatening, but it has interrupted some of our plans! I know God is making me trust in Him and His timing...which is PERFECT! I take things into my hands too often without even consulting the one who knows and loves me best! His ways are not our ways! They are higher and greater!